While what you’re about to read has probably been preached over a million times, and you’ve probably heard it more than once in your lifetime, I’m still going to write on it; hopefully in a different kind of way that would pass the message across as new.
Many people want to be exceptional, do great things, become legends and heroes, but oftentimes they make the same mistake of surrounding themselves with the wrong people.
They get attached to persons who only want to be normal (in the wrong sense of normalcy). They make friends with people who just want to be passersby in life; people who aren’t strong enough boosts for them, and largely, they entangle themselves with people who play a strong role in suppressing their fire.
Of course this people most times might be cool in their own way; they are real friends, always there for you, funny, caring, loyal, would never betray you, and all those basic things everybody would like to have in a friend. But yet, these persons do not possess the vital characteristics that are essential for ascent to greatness, and you on the other hand close your eyes to this.
Most times a lot of people fail to realize that they would need more than a good sense of humour and niceness from those around them, to be able to propel them into their dreams, and so they settle for establishing relationships based on only meager reasons.
If you’re the type of person who desires to be more than mediocre in your generation, you would need more than caring, loyal, and nice people. You would need people who desire to be more than mediocre too.
Another issue is that of mutual dreams, visions, and outlook towards life and the future.
You would need to surround yourself with people who understand and respect your visions, even if it’s not necessarily the same for them. It has to be people who share your dreams, and who see the world in the way that you do. Ensure that your closest of friends are those who carry the same fire and aspirations, who excite your passion in ways you can’t describe, and who boost up your enthusiastic level. They should be able to trigger a feeling of urgency in you to accomplish your goals. They should be able to make greatness seem like a fantastic idea, and challenges like an exciting adventure. You would need people who are on the same page as you.
Do you have that person whom after every encounter with, leaves you feeling like you can just achieve all your goals in as simple a process as just snapping your fingers? If you do, keep such person, and if you don’t, find one.
I learnt the secret of the power of having the right friends some time ago.
I have always been the kind of person to dwell deep on issues that a lot of persons would only look at from the surface before letting go of, the kind of person that would want to turn virtually everything into something to analyse and scrutinize, debate and talk over, knowing fully well that there is deeper knowledge embedded in it than meets the eye, and so I want to suck this knowledge out lest I won’t rest. I am the kind of person whose mind brew up questions faster than a spider spins a cobweb, (I admit, there might be some exaggeration there though) although most of these questions look useless and easy to answer until you’ve taken a second look at it.
Initially it was frustrating to me when I was around people that didn’t understand this fire. Can you imagine what it feels like to see a quote that looks plain, but then a deeper insight hits you, and you start to excitedly share with those around you, and all they can do is stare at you with the what-is-this-boy-blabbing-about type of face, also visibly suppressing a yawn. It’s like a lover of chicken being given a spicy piece of chicken with plenty of flesh, and then you are only allowed to nibble just a little from it, because that’s what everybody around is doing and you have to follow suit. This used to be my condition around some certain friends, whose only interests of discussions were usually shallow things; girls, musicians(not even the music), celebrities, clothes, keeping up with the kardashians, celebrity marriages, who is richer than who, and other irrelevant things as you’ve probably guessed.
With time and realization, I’ve surrounded myself anew with people that are like me in approach to life, and the difference they do to my spirit soul and body is just exciting. Sometimes it starts as an innocent joke for instance, and then someone drops a comment on what he deduces from the joke, and before we understand what’s happening, discussions becomes heated and tasking, and at the end of the session, somebody would be left wondering how a joke on religious overzealousness could have possibly lead to a discussion on the theme “religion, an invention of the government to keep the masses in check”, or how a statement on public opinion could have led to a debate on what the basis for measuring and determining truth are.
Of course we don’t all agree on an opinion all the time; I think most of the time we don’t actually end up completely with the same view, or the finally agreed opinion would have gone through series of adjustments and review, but one thing I know for sure is that the way my head and mind feels after this sessions is one feeling that is the very definition of enriching.
Surround yourself with people who want to be great too. That’s one of the first steps to being great.
Surround yourself with people who want influence the world, if that’s what you desire.
And of course, if all you really want to do with your life is play naija bet in the day, and drink palm wine in the night under a tree tying only wrapper and singing ancient songs, then the best way to do this is to find other people that want to do same. After all, this kind of life has its perks too; it’s entertaining to watch drunkards displaying under the influence of their intoxication.
I have a friend of mine who is currently making it in his own path of life, and he said to me some time ago:
“Truthfully, while others are thinking of how to buy an iPhone from apple, I am thinking of how to invest in the company” As high-minded as the statement seemed then, it influenced my thoughts, and nobody needed to tell me to never let such a person out of my life.
The thing about greatness and focus is that it unconsciously radiates out of any individual who aspires to such and it is extremely contagious, but to receptive minds of course. Imagine when there is a conglomeration of great minds who want to be great people, and they’re all just radiating this positivity, and as each individual is radiating his own contribution, he is absorbing the contribution of all others around him. This is the very definition of positive vibes.
You can’t have plans to be a multimillionaire CEO of a company by the age of twenty five, but yet you’re walking with people who at the age of twenty four are still more interested in increasing their instagram followers, than they are in increasing business knowledge and prospects.
You can’t have plans to be a world class orator and public speaker one day, but yet you’re walking with the squad that thinks it’s childish to speak in front of people, but instead would rather sit at the back and make jest of everybody who mounts the podium to speak.
It’s even wrong to completely surround yourself with people with a passion for singing only and want to be singers in the future, when you can’t hit a single note without causing the microphone to go on break, but then you can act a drama play so excellently. Truth is they’re useless to you in view of your dreams if your desire is to be an actor; just the same way you’re useless to them in view of theirs.
Let your friends be more than ‘pepper dem gang’ crew, let your friends not just be partners in outings, vanity and parties only. Let them also be partners in thinking, partners in actualizing dreams, discovering purpose and pursuing goals.
I think the lesson here is; surround yourself with different versions of the kind of person you think you are, or who you want to be.
If you have read up to this point, then I say thank you! You’ve made my day and I hope this make yours. Would love to hear from you, and get to know what’s in that amazing mind of yours.
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